<======Backwards

<=====Backwards
She walks blindly into the night
Afraid of nothing
The Ghosts, painting pictures
Temporary restoration of sight
She relies on memory
Bad, deliberately forgets
Selective, she remembers every sound
Every scent in one last breath
Nostalgia, she disregards intimacy
Fears, only but her self
Impulsive, naive, and angry

If I

If I could forge a signature as we speak
The Signature embedded in my brain
I wouldn't have to think so much til i'm weak
And talk wouldn't be in vain

If I could wash my hands in your blood
I'll be cleaner everyday
I wouldn't feel guilty and then not be judged
By harsh tongue, dead men and prayer

If I could walk alone naked in the night
And feel as warm and safe as a cradle
Wander further and further out of sight
the Home I made, is deep within the jungle

Suffocate

On the coldest day
Rain falls
Blackened body of water
Lies still, waiting to spit...
To spit envy...envy against the sun, the moon and the stars
For this very moment can no longer wait
Heavy mass of clouds loom menacingly above
Waiting...waiting...to...
Suffocate

Antidote

Back to that familiar place
Once again....a place where all dreams burn
Hope is a foreign word...love is a disease which needs a cure
And heartbreak a lesson we one more time must learn
So Im once more in search of the anitdote
Cure this life wrecking disease...relying on hope
Such feelings are for optimists
No qualifications here, Im a pessimist
I lay my pens down...
My writing is done....
Heart numb.....
I will not fight
Because there is no battle
I will keep running further and further
I will hide all fear, the pain and be strong
Let bitterness be the veil over any situation
I will search for the cure for this disease
Its over-rated, just like a typical Walt Disney film
Call me cynical, (thank you) but its time i back out
Its like i made a deal with the devil, Life just keeps getting fucked up.

Solstice

I’ve seen what looks like the summer solstice

An imprint of tropical in my head

Far too wise to wander

I will drown in solitude instead

A special word

Repetitive in my brain

Lingers…as I await the next decision…even though

The conclusion will be the same

I’ve seen what looks like the Winter solstice

Cold and bitter to taste

With a dozen half broken mirrors

Reflects an image I once used to hate

I’ve walked on those splinters

With hopes to spur some sort of feeling

A reminder that I am still alive

In good health and still breathing

Deceit

Do you think that thieves never get caught?
Do you think lies never back-fire?
A gunman never gets shot
Or an athlete never gets tired?

A million and one presents could not take away from the grief
No words of comfort could heal my breaking heart
Your actions and words have left me in disbelief, right from the very start
I once met a stranger….who I thought really loved me
Instead he was a monster, who couldn’t connect emotionally
His patented lies, filled with deceit
Scorches the tongue, no truth for me!
Your cold cruel reckless heart, feels nothing
Not even a mother’s touch can evoke any feeling
Like a disease, the pain is infectious
A life full of disappointment, shouldn’t you have sought help?
Forgiveness was absolute, although the hurt was still there
But the betrayal again was something I just couldn’t bear
How many lies, endless to the point
You could have told me the truth
For my heart you would have spared.
A thousand diamonds could bring all the riches of the earth
But wouldn’t numb the pain that I have felt
It wouldn’t take away the hurt.

ILLUSION

I think in ILLUSION
And i cant write on paper
My fingers become NUMB
And my words turn into VAPOUR
And everything i see is like a KALEIDESCOPE
And the music in my ear sounds
Like a rythym of HOPE

Chirps in the night
Out of SIGHT
MUSIC in the dark
Come into the LIGHT

She sees in ABSTRACT
Her life, no colour
Silence deafens
The drunks are SOBER
Car CRASHES
No WHIPLASHES
The irony of it all
A banker who didnt follow PROTOCOL

I make up my rhymes to rhyme
With the line behind
And tonight i feel like im loosing it
I cannot QUIT...these fucking lyrics
Are a hit with the bloody critics
I think in "thought-shapes"
They're all in my head
Echoes all over...but lyrics never DEAD